Monday, February 9, 2009

The collection (of what?)



"M" (Named after the operative from the 007 movies) has been on blogger since early last year and posts regularly... "The Collection" is your typical "dear diary" format, event by event descriptions of things that happened since the previous post peppered with oblique references to friends and family.

Here's how the ball got rolling last year:


posted by M at 4:50 PM 2 comments
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Welcome to my world...

Well here I am finally - posting to my very own blog. I've been thinking about doing this for quite a while now. I work as a museum curator, and over the last few years several of my interns have been on me to start a blog called "What not to do in Museums", in which I would rant about all the proper museum methodology that I try to impart to them every day. While I would find such a blog amusing, and probably several of my friends in the profession would too, it might get old after a while. So, instead, I plan to post about not only the whacky stuff that happens to me at work, but also about my life in general - therefore it will be a true collection.


It seems as though the word "finally" pops up more times than not with these things. How long do you think this person sat around musing at the foibles of their everyday life before it occured to them "Hey, someone else might want to know about the mildly amusing thing that happened at the grocery store today... Goddamit! I should blog this!"

It's unfortunate that the blogger didn't go with their first idea, "What not to do in a museum". Man oh man, that could have been incendiary. People with jobs in cultural institutions are capable of some of the most epic dumbassery and to have a whistle blower on the inside? Wow. I bet that in the end she didn't want to rock the boat too much. For my money, one thing you shouldn't do in a museum is blog about the network television you and everybody else watched last night...

Prison Break: The ex-cons are still a good-looking bunch of guys, and the (finally!) budding romance between Michael and Sarah is great. But in all seriousness, why can't these guys just be done with breaking into and out of things??

The Sarah Connor Chronicles: This one is the show I would have guessed I'd be least into - I was NOT fan of the Terminator movies (in fact I've never seen them) and a lot of stuff blows up and quite a few people die pretty horribly.

Dancing With the Stars: Dear God, Cloris Leachman is still on the show. Really, what else is there to say??

Project Runway: Actually, this show is almost over for the year. The finale is coming up on Wednesday. I'm kinda eh about it. I like Kenley's clothes. I hope she wins, but if she doesn't I don't really care.

Survivor, Gabon: There is something really wrong with that kid who's name might be Charlie, and is currently in an alliance with another guy who's name might be Marcus. I never know anyone's names at this point in the season.



Where have you been all this time???

As common as the vague and sarcastic tone of a blog's first apologetic mission statement is the little blurbs abdicating the poster of the "responsibility" to post regularly. I wonder if they imagine their friends looking at the un-updated page day after day saying "FUCK? where the FUCK is Kathy with those pictures of her family vacation to historic Williamsburg? Do you think she's ok? Let's pack up the car and go check on her, I'm worried."

So, friend GG wanted to know why I was slacking on my blog postings - I did not post anything for June 30th - and I began to tell her about my adventure last night that prevented me from posting

So, yet another week has slipped by without any posts from me, but this time I have all kinds of great excuses - each of which would make wonderful posts in and of themselves. The last week or so has been packed with all kinds of whackadoodle happenings!
*
Saturday, January 24, 2009
What a week...
Wow. That's all I can really say about this past week. Its been so jam-packed from start to finish that I haven't had a chance to sit down and blog about all the stuff that happened! The axiom of blogging, I guess.

My only excuse for my long absence from the blogosphere is that it really just does take time to recover from your team winning its SIXTH SUPER BOWL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm really not kidding - I've been in outer-space ever since, and I think I'm only just now coming back to Earth.


REALLY?????? SAY WHAT?

Another favorite blogger quirk is the explanations and excuses they weakly offer up for various little flashes of weird verbiage and syntax. It's as though they were about to edit something out, but then thought "this will at least be funny". It's usually not.

I need to go to apple festivals and visit flea markets, and maybe make some road trips to quirky places. -0ppppppppppppppppppprrrrrrrrrrwpolg43Who's with Me??


(Okay, you see that section of gibberish letters above? That's Pepper's contribution to today's post. She just walked across my keyboard...)



Then I asked one of them 4 times in the course of about 10 minutes where I had put my notebook, and it was sitting on the desk in front of me. Once the drugs wore off, I decided against a second dose. Clearly, I'm not ready for narcotic painkillers.

Anyway, the point of this ramble (which might have been affected by some residual drugs) is that my 30's are looming on the horizon, and I'm not so sure I like it!



Taken out of context certain statements are pretty hilarious in the format of the diary blog. A statement like "I equate them (in a very un-PC way - sorry) with an old Jewish couple. They even kind of sound like it, too." would normally be the entire meat of an entry, but here it's glossed over and all the reader is left with is a bizarre tang in their mouths while they try to digest the otherwise flavorless mass.

The statement about the jewish couple is a description of some doves that have been living in the backyard she shares with her landlord. She named them Gracie and Earl when she could have gone the full 9 and called them Aviva and Schlomo, but I guess stereotypes are not her humor. When one of the birds got caught in a humane animal trap that put out by her landlord to catch the squirrels eating his birdfood (and dismantling the roof of his house?) there were no concentration camp jokes or anything. Maybe I'm being a dick.... I am being a dick. whatever.

Huh. In fact, once I stopped to think about it, I had several to-do lists from past days stuffed in the pockets of my work purse, a couple magnetted (new word) to my fridge at home, and at least a few dozen other types of lists cataloging everything from "stuff I need to purchase for the Fall '08 wardrobe" to "home improvement projects I would do if I owned a house".

FOR REAL? Magnetted is your new word? Is that even a word? Would it have been too hard to say "affixed to my fridge with a magnet"? I know it wouldn't have the same whackadoodle flair but at least it wouldn't sound so malpropistical (new word).

Froehliche Weinachten!
For whatever reason, I felt like throwing out that little morsel from my days as a German minor in college (it means Merry Christmas, fyi - or more accurately Happy Holy Night!). I am actually at work right now, finishing up a bunch of odds and ends, because THIS IS MY LAST DAY FOR 2008!!!!!!!!!!!!


DAMMIT!!!! For whatever reason? It wasn't just an excuse to let us all know you minored in German in college? Why? Is this about those jewish birds in the backyard?

All in all, M has a pretty good blog, despite the word "whackadoodle" making an epic 4 appearances. I wouldn't recommend it to the casual reader, but it you are a friend or relative this would be a good, hands free way to make sure that they are still alive and well from time to time.

M, If you're reading this, you sound like a perfectly charming lady and I wish you goof luck finding a house and all the best in your early 30's.


yr pal
AGL

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